Truly no one teaches us to be daughters
I didn’t ask for my conception
but I exist.
I exist as the product of my parents’ love and God’s purpose
I exist as the daughter of Sandra and Robert
I exist as the daughter of Sandra Marie. I am a part of my mother’s garden.
I am the lineage of her and the rest of the daughters who didn’t ask to become one, who later became mothers.
No one teaches us to be daughters, but we are able to be shown ways in which we would like to be mothers.
And if there was one person that I could say even taught me,
it would be the person who had to learn how to be a daughter with me-my sister.
From the birth of me until the ascendence of her,
we existed as daughters to the same people together in the physical realm.
Just as she was a daughter before me, I am still my mother’s daughter after she left earth.
I had to learn to show up as a daughter in another way, in a way I never knew existed
at the hands of grief and loss and the life that still went on.
Growing pains and growing joys-they’re simultaneous.
“I can’t wait to tell my children about you/About the days where we had no choice but to be outside as long as the sun could kiss us/About the skipping rocks and how I could never get past your five/The talent shows in grandma’s living room where we took turns being each other’s back-up singers/Tell them about the many colors of you, or should I say your hair/About an aura unmatched, an energy so special I can’t even give its essence justice/If my children asked me to describe you in one word I’ll say Divine/Cause there’s no way you weren’t heaven sent. And every time I’m asked who’s my favorite superhero, I’ll say you. You are the epitome of strength. I’ll tell them how you protected me for as long as I can remember From childish nightmares and thunderstorms to my first car accident/although your frail bones could barely move at that point and lupus was literally sucking the life out of you, your adrenaline came through like you always do/Tell them how it was my honor to spend almost every day of my life with you until the end of yours/How I miss being in your presence and how I constantly find new reminders of your existence when I need it the most/While I can only hope that my children will not have to lose a sibling a young age/To have to come up to the words of an obituary/To feel the very moment their sister left this earth/Or for their last promise to be to love their brother enough for the both of them/I pray to God he puts a love in them that transcends their earthly self/And through me instilling the appreciation of a sibling while they can still have a conversation/And while everything in me wishes you can be here in the physical while I raise my babies, I know that you will be the best guardian angel to them that I could ever ask for/And for that I thank you. I can’t wait to tell my children about you."
Who I am, where I’ve been, and who I am becoming is a part of my journey as a daughter.
And as I grow I memorialize the version of me that got left behind
while trying to hold on to some of the essences of adolescence and innocence.
I offer grace to myself, I utter grace to my mother, I offer grace to her mother and so on.
I pray my daughters can do the same for me.
To the daughters who came before me, the daughters that exist with me, the daughters come from the seed of my blossom
I know you didn’t ask for your conception.